Monthly recap (March 2026)
I've decided to live as a proud man-loving-man for all the John Lennons and Paul McCartneys that never had the chance.
Control and creation
The first half of March made me feel like things would never change, so I don't understand why I have the most active social calendar in my existence right now. Even though it's positive, I still feel rocked by how sudden it was. My life is on the prediction markets and God is rigging the events so he can win big.
In all seriousness I cannot stand so much that life is based on luck, especially when it comes to other people. I have realized that as it relates to three things:
- I love web coding. There is no other visual art form that gives you more precision and control; what you put in is what you get out.
- So often I liked the artwork I created, but when I posted it on social media, its worth would be determined by the numbers of others and I would lose my control of my own feelings towards my art. It is deception; numbers are so 'true' and 'factual' in most contexts that when you see them on social media you think of it as certain, 'real' data too.
- I must continue creating to feel control again.
I've finally packed up the Dreamwidth and gone for private daily journalling. Turns out I can just exercise self-restraint and not write until I spiral myself into depression.
I really am quite happy with where I am internet-wise. I have become one of those people I admire who do what they like without caring about the opinions of others.
Anyway after I wrote that 2000 word opinion piece on what the end of the Lion's Dens shows meant to me Fale brought it back so I have decided I will not be writing about Fale Dojo again ← guy who has said this four times.
Blogroll
I made a blogroll page. May turn it into general links later, but for now I've got some friends and blogs I follow via RSS. I have a button as well!
I want to shoutout Port, my only iDOLM@STER friend who journals semi-often. I've known them for nearly 8 years (!?) but we didn't talk until fairly recently. They're a W producer, so it's really interesting to see deepdives and cuteart of SideM characters I don't know very well. Please read their translation of the 2nd Anniversary W/Jupiter skits for whatever the hell Hokuto is going on about.
I appreciate their opinions on art; it's refreshing to hear someone who shares my thoughts in the current fandom environment. Knowing that someone else does get it and expresses it unprompted has helped a lot.
Everyone else, please make a blog so I can read long posts about your favorite iDOLM@STER characters too!
Art log
I started using coloring pencils because I went to a live drawing session and didn't have an eraser, but it lowers the barrier of drawing considerably—no need to wait to wait for my iPad to charge or set up my paints or do inks and lines for drawings that could be 'complete'. Of course, I'm just using it to draw naked women as usual (the unclothed creature here is the Papal Ass/Tiber monster).
The Beatles have legitimately reinvigorated a passion (mental illness) in me that I haven't felt in years. Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End drives me MAD!
Outfit log
✧ indicates thrifted or second-hand item.
- Shirt: Silk Collection ✧ / Pants: Moana Clothing ✧ / Jacket: Match ✧ / Shoes: Puma
- Shirt: Giordano ✧ / Pants: hotwind / Vest: Connor ✧ / Shoes: unlabled
- Shirt: Yves Saint Laurent pour homme ✧ / Shoes: yd.
- Shirt: Chisel ✧ / Jacket: London Fog ✧ / Pants: unlabled / Shoes: Puma
- Jacket: Barkers
- Shirt: Tommy Hifilger ✧ / Jacket: Oscar Piel ✧ / Shoes: Clarks ✧
- Shirt: Chisel / Pants: Gold Rich ✧ / Jacket: Dickies / Shoes: Martorell ✧
Mr Fuzzby looks very smart in his new clothes.
Media log
- The Rocky Horror Show: I've seen the Glee episode about it, but they didn't go much into the 2nd act of the show so I had no idea it was literally an alien sci-fi show LOL that's hilarious. Toucha Toucha Toucha Touch Me still the best song.
- Bullet Train: I went to a gay sauna to use the spa pool and sauna and ended up spending most of my time in the theater because I would just be inhaling condensated semen otherwise. It happened to be playing Bullet Train which was quite fitting considering I watched Bad Bunny live the day before. But it was on 1.5x speed and the audio was shit so I just ended up watching it online with friends after. Despite its extreme 'cool Japan' tone, it's very funny and pretty perfect for the first part, but story and humor starts to derail
after Lemon is revealed to be alive. Still quite entertaining action-wise though and I do love media with a Pulp Fiction-type structure. - Josh Hinton - A Place in the Sultan's Kitchen (or How to Make the Perfect One-Pot Chicken Curry): Truly creative storytelling and very much needed. When you ask me where I'm from, the answer is always gonna be South Auckland.
- Kazusa Inuoka - i tell c C1-3: I need the main character I would commit crimes to be with her. Art is very good!
- Edward Zitron - The Man Who Killed Google Search
- Tsumuji Yoshimura - Just Like Mona Lisa V1: Stressed me out. I have no doubt that it's eventually going to have a pleasant bisexual nonbinary ending but first volume is painful seeing the author's original bi love triangle idea turn into a gender-sexuality nightmare. It has spot printing on every page which is kinda interesting but also so minimal that it doesn't add anything.
- Agatha Christie - And Then There Were None: This is literally Umineko.
- Quinrose - Alice in the Country of Hearts - Junk Box Stories: The entire book is just men kissing Alice without consent. This is why I'm saying Vildalvi is the only good option!!! I actually did not realize all of these characters were romanceable in game. Like sorry but who is going for the Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee option. Just choosing from this book, Gray is probably the best. Blood Durpe is a horrid horrid man.
- Natsume Ono - House of Five Leaves V1: Very much the Ono style of vaguely BL seme-esque mysterious smiling all the time. Beautiful art anyway. Masa is very cute!
- Sleeping Profit, Lulette, Manawa Wardrobe - Cat's Meow: Part of Te Wiki Āhua o Aotearoa (underground fashion week). First time going to a runway show. Super cool! It felt so cohesive despite the designers all having distinct styles.
- Nisio Isin/Oh! great - Bakemonogatari C1-5: Love Senjouhara's blunt sense of humor and her matter-of-fact confidence. Her story is essentially about facing feelings that she doesn't feel like she should have which I find terribly relatable at this point in time. Imagine me trying to explain to my 55 year old white therapist that I feel like this teenage girl whose weight got eaten by a giant crab because weight and feeling sound the same in Japanese. I like that the main character is appealing in of himself, but that might just be Oh! great artwork speaking.
- Roller Coaster Tycoon: FUCK. This is exactly the kind of game designed for my type of mental disorder. It's too addictive so I'm not allowed to touch it.
- The Beatles: Get Back: In the words of Joy, the "McLennison NTR film". Drama aside, it made me appreciate the more popular Beatles songs from the latter albums that you take for granted as a kid. The path they took to produce the classics is just oh so incredible.
- John Berger - Steps Towards a Small Theory of the Visible: 100% the type of shit I'm on lately. The book compiles Berger's essays on art and society from the past 50 decades. It mirrors a lot of the thoughts I have around 'realistic' art styles, capitalism/consumerism, non-representational art, and creating art and existing in the digital age. Imagine if bro lived long enough to experience the generative AI age. There's always a feeling of hopelessness with reading works like these because the people who need to understand this most aren't going to care—and even if they did they wouldn't necessarily take it to heart anyway. I know I wouldn't have three years ago. My favorite essay was the final piece, I would tell my love, which follows multiple letters written to the deceased Nâzım Hikmet, interpolating Nâzım's poetry between his grief for a recently-passed friend.
- Agatha Christie - The Murder of Roger Ackroyd: Oh Papa Poirot I shall always adore you. The solution is
not all too shocking with the knowledge of modern mystery stories, but I probably would have been gagged if I lived in the 1920s. Mahjong scene was so stupid I CTFU. - The Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour, Yellow Submarine, Abbey Road, Let it Be: There's the tragedy of the end and then there's the tragedy of the bad ending. You think "things didn't have to be this way" but the way things turned out was what made it so iconic and so the sadness is a spectacle forever. 60 years on, of course you can't forget them. You've known them for 70.